Alam niyo, love has never been talked about in our household. Sure, they talk about their struggle to survive (specially to finish school), but they take it very lightly. It’s like those remained as sweet memories (even their paglalako stories).

We’ve never talked about it, “loving”. BUT I’VE SEEN IT. I’VE FELT IT. How my Lola took care of my ailing grandfather without much patience and without complaint. How my Tito’s and Titas worked when they where younger so they can send the other siblings to school. How they’re just so giving and generous with each other (and I’m not talking about money here) and you know it’s something not done out of feeling of obligation but out of pure love and care. How they remain to be happy despite difficulties, despite illnesses, failures. How our home is just full of positive energy. How I’ve seen my grandparents, my parents get through days with usual tampuhan and fights.. not being madly in love, but trustingly loving each other. And yes, they never lose that laugh - that laugh where you can see they haven’t lost the inner child in them.

How my Lola, seems to understand me, my sometimes deafening silence. How she tells me stories, how she cries and how she earnestly never fails to remind me to love my family and never to step on another person even if that person is someone who stepped on you on the lowest point of your life.

And yes, that’s why I know THERE IS THE ONE. THERE IS A FAIRYTALE that’s set far away from the castle but near the river, where everything flows, everything evolves, where there’s life, there’s growth.. and where love is shared rather than confined in thick walls.

It’s only know I’m realizing, my Lola went away too fast.

I wish she could hug me again. I wish she could talk to me again. I wish she could remind me how to love unconditionally again and again.

- - -

And I don’t know I’m writing this right now.. Maybe she’s here .