Please let me recognize my person.
Or else I’ll keep stabbing myself using my bear hands.
Are you happy?
Are you happy making my cardia run that fast, jump that high?
I just want to rip it out sometimes you know.
Rip it out just like that. Cut through my pectoralis or drill through my sternum and probe it really slowly and blindly until it gets crushed like a pithed frog’s brain.
This is really funny. This feeling. One of the reasons why I don’t like people asking about my abnormal cardiac cycle. Not now. I wonder why my classmates keep asking me about it. You don’t give an answer - they take pleasure speculating. When you give them an answer - they don’t believe it. What do they want me to say?
“I committed the biggest mistake of my life of falling in love with my bestfriend?” — Oh, and I quote that from a friend who got that from a really old Jo.Li.Na movie.
Walang pakialaman.
Now, can I now go back to my work?
*sigh*
- - -
edited July 14, 2008
I was thinking of deleting this but then I realized it’s just bound to happen with all that’s happened this past few days. I told you how ‘the class’ has been concerned with each other’s personal lives and questions are thought (and memories) provoking, and I’ve seen (well, not really) I think, the person I didn’t want to meet, and I went out on a date with a friend the other night at Ermita area (you know Rob-Nakpil-Baywalk, typical).
I hate to admit it to myself but I can’t help but think of the things I didn’t want to dwell on anymore.
And then last night, I had another dream, and that dream just made my day - if it’s not too obvious with this post.
Haha. There. I may need this explanation when I read this 3 years from now. The actual dream? It’s too good. Too good to keep in my memory bank.
But hey, this day is good.
=)
I was just probably having a moment yesterday. And it did feel good to spill those words above.
